Becoming Kindred Blog

Still right

I remember this date five years ago. I woke up at about 4:30 to begin making bouquets and boutonnieres. It was our wedding day and the rain was streaming down the window. During our engagement I had wondered how I would feel on that day. Would I have butterflies in my stomach? Would I experience any second thoughts? Would I shake with nerves to the point of being weak-kneed and runny nosed (a common side affect of nerves for me)? To my surprise when I look back, I felt serene and with total assurance in the choice that I had made. As we moved through the morning with final preparations and then getting ready, the rain continued to pour down making the outdoor wedding seem like it wasn’t going to work. I was asked several times if I was really disappointed or stressed out. I could honestly say that I was fine. The only thing that I cared about that day was that I married my love, where or how no longer mattered. I had also always thought that I would feel like a princess and so, so beautiful on my wedding day. Yet when I looked in the mirror it was the usual me looking back. I liked my dress and my hair etc. but I wasn’t having what I would call a “pretty day”. It didn’t matter though because I knew that Dan thought me beautiful all the time and even that ceased to be about me but rather about our commitment to each other, including each accepting the other as we were.

And now five years later, our choice is still so right. Even in what has been the most challenging year of our marriage, I am thankful. We are far from perfect but we are one. I love seeing my daughters held securely in the arms of their daddy. I anticipate the opening of the door when he arrives home. I bask in his love. Happy Anniversary my love.