Contentment has usually been close to me in these past years. I am at peace with my life. Our needs have been simple and met; our wants relatively few. And so while we have had longings, known impatience, hurt and disappointment, I think that I can accurately say that contentment has been my companion. But now, now. Contentment seems to be leaving me as I desperately grasp for it right now. Believe me, I read the news and I am aware and as the discontent grows an annoyingly incessant voice pulls up snap shot after snap shot, forcing perspective. And still I struggle. As I navigate through the construction zone of my house to reach my washing machine, as I scrub a kitchen that will. not. clean. As I use the bathroom and see yet another pile of ugly wall paper placed on the floor by two helpful girls who like to pull it off in strips. As a dwindling bank account reminds me of groceries and winter clothing. As I struggle through another difficult and painful pregnancy. I know, I know. I am ashamed of my list because even in the moment, I can't help but see the great blessings. I am slowly learning that what I perceive as what I need for contentment is not necessarily what I need. That contentment is not based on wants nor even needs being filled. That choosing to be content now because "later it will be better" is simply not the best way. Rather choosing to hold to these words, "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation" .