Becoming Kindred Blog

Sleep? Who needs it.


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Friends, I'm tired these days. You know that bone tired, I-think-I-might-cry sort of tired? That's my camp this past week or two, or maybe it's three, I can't remember now. I actually looked at my bed and considered taking a nap while the girls were all playing down stairs. There was a little voice in my head that said it would be okay. I managed to ignore it but barely. So why I am so tired. I remember this with Cecily. It's what happens when a 14 month old, sweet, darling and precious though she may be, is still wanting to nurse once or twice a night. Except for those nights last week where it was three times. Three.  And this isn't a little put baby back to sleep snack but rather a hearty meal followed by a roar of "you will give me more!". Really child, you drained. every. last. drop.

So Kathleen and I had a chat around about 2 am a few nights ago. Well, she ate and I talked. I was slightly delirious but I think it went something like this; "Enjoy this nighttime feed because it's your last one. After tonight, you are officially cut off. That's right sweetie. No more. " And that's it. I'm no longer open for dining in the middle of the night. I'm sorry.

I know, it sounds harsh. But a zombie mama does what she's gotta do. Those ladies who can get through with little sleep and a shot of caffeine? I admire them, but caffeine does NOTHING for me other than provide a case of the shakes midday. My girls have been copying my incoherent sentences and tonight after I call the fridge a dresser, a stove, and a cupboard, Aneliese just responded with, "or whatever that thing is called."

Kathleen has been surprisingly okay with the new changes. Oh, she isn't sleeping through the night, yet. But, I think she is beginning to understand that her push over mama really means it. I nurse her more during the day and make sure she gets a good supper. Then between 11 pm and 5 am, I hang up the Closed sign and Daddy soothes her back to sleep. But it's my turn to get up with her tonight. I will. be. strong. And kind.

So that's my rambling explanation as to why I've been MIA. Happy Friday and may you all have plenty of sleep tonight.