My sweet Aneliese is having a tough time these days. She is so very sensitive and the chaos that our house is in plus seeing every thing being put into boxes is very hard for her even though she understands that it means it will all be coming with us. Since our trip to BC last week, she has been so emotional and that often shows up in tears over “unimportant things” or acting out in inappropriate ways such as the yelling, stomping way, or whining/whimpering incessantly or my personal favorite of spitting (not at anyone, just on her chin; she calls it drinking her spit). I have always determined to myself that I will not make excuses for my kids’ behaviour to others but it just makes my heart sad because I have a hard time helping her and being patient with her. A couple of emails from a friend yesterday reminded me how much Aneliese can always relate to books and so I went to the library armed with a long list of titles for children’s books about leaving ones old home and moving to a new one. Not ONE of books were in nor could I find any in town. I was so disappointed because I think it would really help her and I know that I should have taken care of it when I thought about it several weeks ago; I could have even done a little book about us moving and how we felt. Our move just seemed so far away then. We talk about the excitement and the changes; what will happen, where we will go, and all of that but how do you help a three year old express their emotions, grief and fears? I am just not good at it because I am not good at expressing them myself.
I know that she will get through it and that the main thing is us continuing to be patient and loving but I just long to make the transition a little smoother for her and I am not really sure how.
I love you, sweet girl
oh Miss’, I feel for you!! Moving really seems to bring a different kind of struggle to children. We’ve seen Jeremiah go through his most difficult issues due to all of our moves, and it’s been heartbreaking. The exciting thing for you guys, is that a month from now you’ll be planting true roots and surrounding A’ with an incredible environment of ‘home’. It might get harder yet, even for the first while in the new place, but she’s an incredible girl and you guys have such a healthy and centered manner of expressing ‘family’, she’ll be settled in soon.Thinking of you these days, and wishing we had a little farm next to you….
Oh, I can imagine how hard that is!! You know, even if it’s not perfect, you could make a quick little book on the computer and print it out with computer paper. Maybe with the pictures of the friends you will miss and pictures of the friends you are looking forward to seeing. You could put pictures of your new place and quick captions like “we will have a picnic by this tree” and “here is where your bedroom will be.” Maybe that would help her look forward to new adventures. I’m sure you’d come up with better captions than that but I know that feeling when you feel like something would have worked so well and you’ve missed your chance. But you haven’t missed it… even a quick little book that isn’t perfect and won’t stand the test of time like so many of your beautiful projects would still probably be a blessing to Aneliese right now.
Thinking of you lots and praying for you guys in all these transitions!
I’m praying for you and the little ones.
You know, Anna has started to really talk about heaven and she constantly confirms with me that once we’re in heaven we don’t leave! 😉 At the end of this month, we’re moving to another apt for 1 month and then off to ON for 3 months and then back to BC and then to Brasil sometime after that. The hardest thing to withstand are people’s judgment of our kids and how they’re acting. Some never get to see what your child is really like at home or in a somewhat permanent or “normal” situation. And I’m like you in that I don’t like excuses but at the same time we need to have compassion and delicacy to allow our children to express their hurt and disappointment, confusion. I think you’re doing a wonderful job and your little ones are fortunate to have you as their mum!
I’m praying God will also give compassion and understanding for all those you come in contact with during this time of transition. And, btw, I would love to know what books you had on your list about moving. I would love to check them out this month!