Contentment has usually been close to me in these past years. I am at peace with my life. Our needs have been simple and met; our wants relatively few. And so while we have had longings, known impatience, hurt and disappointment, I think that I can accurately say that contentment has been my companion. But now, now. Contentment seems to be leaving me as I desperately grasp for it right now. Believe me, I read the news and I am aware and as the discontent grows an annoyingly incessant voice pulls up snap shot after snap shot, forcing perspective. And still I struggle. As I navigate through the construction zone of my house to reach my washing machine, as I scrub a kitchen that will. not. clean. As I use the bathroom and see yet another pile of ugly wall paper placed on the floor by two helpful girls who like to pull it off in strips. As a dwindling bank account reminds me of groceries and winter clothing. As I struggle through another difficult and painful pregnancy. I know, I know. I am ashamed of my list because even in the moment, I can’t help but see the great blessings.
I am slowly learning that what I perceive as what I need for contentment is not necessarily what I need. That contentment is not based on wants nor even needs being filled. That choosing to be content now because “later it will be better” is simply not the best way. Rather choosing to hold to these words, “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation” .
Thanks for your comment. And I do agree- contentment is in perspective HOWEVER, life is rife with hardships and I have learned that Godliness does not equal calmness and coping like a business woman. Look at David…A man after God’s own heart who wept, got angry and was overjoyed…I don’t think he was content..I think he wanted more God, More life, less enemies, less pain. I don’t know it it is right to just float thru life content either. But yes, having perspective and being grateful in the midst of struggles, knowing at least pain means you are alive, rejoicing in pain because it means at least death has not come…I am content with that blessing. Just don’t be hard on yourself. I would feel the same way. I think it is beautiful that you still challenge yourself yet acknowledge the daily struggles:)I hope you find help and encouragement in regards to the housework. Sometimes it is the daily grind that hurts more than the short brief traumas:) I always like reading your posts. You make me think in a different way. I appreciate it:)
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…. YES Missy!