These are some of the choices/steps that we take in our “delayed educational approach”; they may seem quite basic in many ways, but are things that we find helpful:
– No TV. In an effort to develop their minds and imaginations as well as protect their eyes, we only ever allow very occasional watching (which is basically limited to some short musical parts of Sesame Street as it randomly is the thing they enjoy) that only lasts for 5-10 minutes max.
– Involve the girls in our daily activities and chores when possible even if it slows us down.
– Have the girls help with daily chores and tasks such as putting away their laundry or making their beds as well as helping with general family chores.
helping make supper and counting potatoes
– Share and explain things that we see and do or have learned about.
learning about fire
– Choose to view life and the world with interest and awe so that they do the same.
– Slow down!
– Be aware of the things that pique the girls’ interest at various stages and find ways to enhance it. For example: A has been enjoying the stars lately and so she and her daddy have planned to go out star gazing some night soon. I have some books in mind about stars that she will enjoy. Or Cecily has been always counting lately and so we count stairs or fingers and enjoy number books together.
– Try to be conscious of when to encourage and when to hold back. For example: If A asks what sounds letters make or wants to draw them, I generally help her as she has asked but refrain from offering more. She also has fun pointing out letters on signs and we join her in the game but don’t introduce letters.
A for Aneliese who taught herself how to make these and I chose to refrain from teaching her the "right" way.
– Read, read, read aloud with each of them and then read some more. They also see us reading and enjoying it (we have even have times where we all read individually together.) I have written about this in some other posts before but I think it is so valuable to learning and I hope that we will still be reading aloud together even once they are adults. We try to have or to get books that are varied in styles and topics, fun, informative, teach morals and values, rhythmic and poetry, classics etc.
Reading together
– Offer music, art, stories and imaginative play daily.
A special art experience
– Physical activity and outdoor play; this is one that I think is so crucial and it has to be a pretty cold winter day for us not to spend at least a little time outdoors and here I am so thankful for our covered veranda.
– Let our kids be who they are, not our project or chance to shine or completely fail, but children, lovely children with all their delights and imperfections.
– Love our kids, listen to them, enjoy being with them because these years are passing quickly, and offer tons of grace to both them and ourselves.
I realize that it is so easy to make it sound as if I have everything so figured out and together and I would suggest that you read through some of my other posts if you feel that I am putting that across. I struggle, I mess up, and I place unfair expectations on my girls and myself. I fall into the trap of wanting the “exceptional or advance child”. Some days, I just feel tired or lazy and don’t feel like arting or dancing or even going outside or if I get asked to read that same book one more time I might rip out my hair! But, this is the beauty of my girls seeing who we really are and learning through that as well. I don’t know it all and I recognize that every child is very individual. I am prepared for my philosophies to receive some major overhauling in the next few years. Perhaps one of the girls will be an early reader and I am not going to refuse that. It is possible that one (or both) will struggle academically and I will be forced to question our methods. In the meantime, this is a little of the direction that we are going and I would love to hear any thoughts and input you might have.
*I realize that much of this has been offered from my perspective and even things that I do. Dan and I talk about this often because while he is actively involved and as he said tonight he agrees with most of what I share with him and has no trouble letting me know if he doesn’t, I do spend the most time researching and planning their learning.
** I am going to try to add some links for resources and reading but for right now my time is up and my brain too tired.
This one is my favorite. Many nuggets of wisdom. Love it.
Thanks Kmarie:).
These are great, Missy. I know I’m a bit late joining the conversation but I’ve enjoyed catching up on the other posts and comments tonight.
I have found myself panicking this year because I am overwhelmed by all the good homeschooling options out there. (Not because I am beginning now, but because I want to be ready ahead of time.) Charlotte Mason! Leadership Education! Classical Education! Montessori (my favorite for now)! and so on. I read a post on a homeschooling blog though that basically said… it’s not about the curriculum. It’s about the environment. And that was really just what I needed to read. It’s not a race to figure out the best way to do this. We have time to grow into it. There are little things that I want begin now. Gently. But it’s not like we have to get a classroom setup here to begin teaching. Every day, all day, I am teaching. Gently. As we go. And I think that is the beauty of homeschooling, to be able to answer children’s questions as they come, and to encourage them in the things that they already find interesting, and to teach them, like you said, about addition and subtraction as we set the table and measure ingredients for dinner and whatever else. Not formally, not forcefully, but as we see that ripening and readiness and interest. Beyond that, I am, at this point, far more interested in the forming of the character of our children than I am in what they can memorize.
But I am also not sure just how far to go in the “wait until they ask” kind of approach. Abraham has recently begun recognizing and naming letters of the alphabet. Of course my first tendency is to go, alright! I’ll teach him to memorize them all! At 16 months, ha. But of course that would turn his happy, sweet, first exuberance about a few letters into a performance, and I am determined that I will not make my kids perform, even when I am sorely tempted to make them do it sometimes (like singing and whatever, when my pride pipes up and I want to show off what they are learning). On the other hand, there are obvious ideas which I spot sometimes in books… something like teaching a child this simple task or that one… which I simply hadn’t thought of myself but which fits in nicely with our daily interactions.
So anyway, I guess my question for you (and Lola and others) is when and how often do you gently introduce things that they might be interested in? I’m a pretty big fan of the Montessori method at this point, largely because it can be done so unobtrusively as to not feel like school. (Don’t know if you have read much about it, but many of the basics are daily activities like table-setting and hand-washing and all the rest that can be seen as common sense in families but also are conducive to self-control, one of the key components in success as adults.) But I tend to kick myself over not introducing more simple, new creative activities now and then. Or not doing art projects enough because I can’t think of new ways to do them. I feel like I want a “curriculum” not in the sense of worksheets but in the sense of books that give me new ideas to do creative, gentle learning things with them.
I don’t know if that makes sense. I feel like Rilla is so ripe to new things right now and so I struggle. She loves doing all kinds of gymnastics-type things; I did too at her age; I still remember; I have always regretted not getting to do those formally; should we enroll her in a preschool gymnastics class? No, I don’t think so, but I’m not entirely sure why. That kind of thing is coming up and making me uneasy, for the first time, and wondering if there are areas where I am not allowing her to grow in ways that she would love to grow.
I wrestle too because I see such similarities in my girl as to myself. I learned to read at four and started first grade just after turning five. I’ve always loved school. But was it because I loved to read? How was it that the learning environment didn’t matter to me, that I just craved more and more words and learning? Would I have excelled more in a homeschool environment? Probably; I can just imagine how much more I would have loved to go voraciously after history and geography rather than go at the boring, confusing pace of the middle school and high school classes.
I don’t know, I guess I’m digressing, sorry. But I’m really wrestling with this lately… just had a talk with Keith about it tonight, actually… because I desire to introduce new and interesting things to our children, not hectically but gently and when appropriate, and yet there are no imaginative juices flowing in my brain lately. So where do you get ideas? And what kind of environmental curriculum (meaning like easels for painting or whatever else) do you find most valuable in your own home? Things that are most conducive to helping them learn and develop a love for learning in a very natural, at-their-pace kind of way? Just wondering.
The best age to start dance is six or seven… for different reasons, mostly being coordination and ability to follow instructions. I taught preschoolers ballet and most of them just wanted to sit on my lap and tell me stories about home and play make believe with me. So cute but a definite waste of the parents money. We did a lot of singing and clapping and jumping and free dancing but that’s all stuff you could do at home. I’m not a big fan of gymnastics but it’s probably ok for little ones. Ballet is good because it incorporates music theory, rhythm, french and good core strength but just a good movement class is best for younger children. Body awareness and the ability to hear and count music is valuable.
I love Montessori. I’m sad I hadn’t read more about it earlier but we can still start now. I’m with you on wanting a plan. I’m nervous to plan too much though. It seems I’ve read over and over from mom’s who have finished homeschooling that if they could do it again they would relax in the beginning and take a more unschooled approach when the kids were younger. I try to remind myself of that.
I’m also working on our home environment. I need to simplify it and get a routine so they are comfortable in their surroundings and able to learn. Mess is not conducive to learning 🙂
I have a questions though, has anyone read anything on the best age to start a second language and are there any curriculum or program suggestions.
Lola, on the second language thing, I have no idea, I would be interested to know. I know that they say the first few years a child can learn any language but I think that is by immersion.
Oh not late Jamie, I just posted these yesterday!:).1. On the wait until they ask method, I guess I really feel that there is no real answer other than knowing your kids. Learning their cues that are not always verbal. For us, Cecily is very emphatic whereas, when something is too much for Aneliese, it shows more subtly in her eyes and a tightening of her face first; if she is interested in something she tends to quietly observe first, ask a few questions and then we go from there.
2. On gently introducing things, I guess again I just go with what comes up in our lives, and usually if I act interested, at this stage they drink it up. Being patient when it doesn’t work out like I expected, backing off if they seem to be indicating that it is too much and come back to it. Sometimes, I do have to say, no you aren’t ready for that even when they in their independence think they are (like pouring from the whole bottle of milk), but I try to think if there is a way they can still accomplish what they are trying to do. Honestly, I don’t have a lot of resources to give you in this area; I tend to get ideas from watching others, snippets from articles I read, preschooling/waldorf/Montessori type blogs and websites (usually modifying them), kids books that we read, and praying for inspiration. Sorry, I know that isn’t really helpful, I will try to think of some of the books that I have read though because I have read some good ones.
3. I understand the desire to plan and have it figured out how you are going to school, but honestly I don’t think that is how it works. Yes research and gather ideas/information, but recognize that you may only be able to prepare for the stage you are in NOW, not to mention your kids are going to change as well. What I thought Aneliese needed six months ago is very different than today. And like Lola said, how our home environment is so important (including the mess level but oh wait I have already aired my dirty laundry☺) in providing a learning environment. All the best tools and techniques are useless if I can’t keep the basics in place.
4. Things I find valuable for learning: truthfully, we don’t have much. Some paints, paper, crayons, a few stickers, glue, small scissors; all of which are getting very low. Oh and our little chalk table which continues to be well loved; drawing and wiping off with a cloth provides great fun. Partly because we simply don’t have the money for some of the things that I would like such as a nice easel, some play silks, and modeling clay (some things on my wish list right now) but partly because I want to use my own imagination and encourage the girls to as well. How about painting with a chicken feather or flower? Sticks are wonderful for drawing in the dirt. Gluing leaves to paper. Stringing buttons from my sewing pile. Painting a piece of slate we found by the water. Counting pumpkin seeds as we scoop them out and spread them to dry. They seem like simple things but to my small children at least, they are wonders.
5. On dance and gymnastics and such, I too have really wanted something like that for Aneliese too, but then I come back to, why does it need to be organized, group oriented at an age where she needs clear and focused instruction in order to understand and follow through? Dance parties in the living room, climbing on trees and rocks, summersaults and handstands, climbing up the slide (Sadie taught me to appreciate this one!), running, hopping, skipping, throwing, swinging! My hope is that they will be so strong and sturdy in few years that they will be prepared to try whatever.
Well that was another blog in itself and I have this fear that I ramble and make everything sound so simple; I know that it isn’t. I have so many questions and worries that I find often hold me back but I think it keeps come back to we are each loving our kids in the best way that we can and there is no right or perfect answer because as parents we are all so different and our kids are as well. I try not to pile pressure on myself when I am getting ideas from others but to simply take what I can and be encouraged.
Love delayed education.. good thoughts.. you’re doing a fabulous job with your girls. I’d post more but i just wanted to let you know i agree.