It’s a beautiful morning; the sun is shining through the dining room windows (that sparkle because they just were washed yesterday!) and I can hear the girls’ happy voices as they enjoy the warmth and their swings outside. I woke up tired even though I had an early night and a 5.5 hour stretch of sleep before Kathleen needed to eat. It’s one of those days where I have to choose to be a “good” mama. Meaning that I’d like to be somewhat selfish, seeing to their needs while indulging in my own little world in a somewhat detached manner. But, I’m not going to, really. The hope and prayer in my heart is that I will continue to choose through out the day to laugh, to listen, to guide, and to love my daughters wholeheartedly.
I used to measure my daily success as a mama by how easy the day had been, how smoothly it had gone. So on days when I felt tired and just didn’t feel like it, I felt guilty, even if I had pushed through and actually had done well. Something in my head said that wasn’t enough, that I was only a good mother if it came easily. And I have mentioned before that being a mama doesn’t come easily to me. I love my daughters, I wouldn’t trade my life for anything but there are still lots of days where I have to choose delight and where I have to choose to give myself. Slowly, I am starting to realize that perhaps the days when I have to make a choice to parent well are actually the best days and the days where my daughters and I experience the most grace.
In case you are wondering, there are days when I admit that I don’t make the best choice and I don’t give the girls the best of myself. Today, though, I am focusing on renewal and the desire to continue to grow in living life well. I also wanted to share this article, The ABC’s of Toddlerhood (I think it applies to more than toddler though).
Missy, your words have pierced THIS mama’s heart. I am turning this off and not being ‘detached’. I’m going to think of this post any time I’m tempted to give in to my selfishness. Thank you so much for this early morning read. I love you <3
I love you too, my friend and I can’t tell you how much it brightened and encouraged my day to hear that my words impacted you! Thank you.
what a beautiful blog! Every word that you have spoken is true. Life is about choices and they are not always easy to make. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you! And you are right, the best choices usually aren’t the easy ones to make it seems:).
I am beyond touched that you would mention my blog within your own beautiful and honest post. I love your heartfelt pledge to motherhood. There are choices to be made every single day. And the reward is the unconditional love and acceptance that is continuously gifted to us by our children. Thank you for your gift to me today, Marissa. I’m so glad to have discovered your blog. xo
You are welcome, I happened across your post and really appreciated it. So many nuggets of goodness within it. Thank you.